The film Lovely and Amazing portrays the life of four female members of one particular average American family and their struggles within themselves to find happiness in their lives and their body image (this is the main thesis and plot line of the film). The mother is dealing with the extra fat she has gained as she has aged and has decided to have plastic surgery to become “beautiful” again for her young adopted daughter. Through this process, she thinks the surgeon develops feelings for her even to the point that after she wakes up from the coma (due to complications from the surgery) and finds that he was home with his wife, she yells at him. The oldest daughter, Michelle, is a middle-aged housewife who is going through a little bit of a midlife crisis and she begins to not be satisfied in her marriage (thinking her husband is no longer satisfied with her body) and with staying home. She then proceeds to get a job working for a much younger (17) boy that she develops feeling for and eventually has an affair with. After being caught in the affair by the boy’s mother, Michelle goes to jail and reevaluates her position in life after a phone argument with her husband where he threatens to take away their daughter. The middle daughter, Elizabeth, is an aspiring actress who feels that her career is going nowhere. She suffers from insecurity about her body type and seeks fulfillment from others and the animals she rescues. This caring for animals eventually leads to the completion of her insecurity as she gets attacked by a dog, leaving a scar on her face. This even prevents her from finding fulfillment in others because it prevents her from dating a man who is legitimately interested in her. The youngest daughter, Annie, is the only African American one of them all, as she was adopted by the mother of the other girls. She is struggling throughout the film to find her place in a Caucasian family with her dark skin, chubby body, and crimpy hair. She takes many steps to become more like her sisters, but resorts back to her true self each time. All of these individual stories occur simultaneously as the mother prepares for and undergoes her cosmetic surgery, ending when the daughters get the phone call to come pick her up from the hospital.
The film specifically relates to the class in many ways, so many that it is hard to pick just two ways they correlate. It seems that the film deals a lot with weight (found in the story of the mother and the youngest daughter, Annie). The two women deal with their weight issues in very different ways. The mother decides to undergo dramatic surgery to fix hers; Annie just makes jokes about it and/or refuses to eat. This weight issue touches on the dangers of plastic surgery much like the essay Cosmetic Surgery: Paying for Your Beauty by Debra Gimlin. Many women, much like the mother, go into plastic surgery thinking that it is an easy surgery with little to no negative consequences. But, as shown in the film and in the essay, there are many risks involved ranging anywhere from the surgery not working to bad scarring to death. It also hints as eating disorders at the end when Annie refuses to eat all the food she bought on a potential binge eating episode. This binge eating is also hinted at in the beginning of the film when she eats a large handful of cookies after her mother told her not to. This goes along with the essays in the book Body Outlaws, specifically Shrink Wrap by Jennifer Panning and Sizing Myself Up by Kate Dillon. Both of these essays deal with how easy it is to become prey to eating disorders and how many of them may be overlooked or unrealized by most people, as in the case of Annie in the film
Overall the film was good. It made some very important points about what women feel and go through in their lives. Each of the women represents different body images and women at different stages in life. They each have their own problems and they each deal with their problems in very different ways. It also presented these topics in an interesting, non-monotone-documentary way; instead it had a logical and clear timeline and plot. The film only had one drawback for me, the brief moment of nudity seemed unnecessary. I think the film could have still had that moment without actually showing Michelle’s body to the viewers. The director could have had her standing with her back to the camera and only see from the lower back up and still gotten the same effect. Also, in the first car scene between Michelle and her new 17 year old boss it was hard to tell if they were doing anything but making out. I do not think they should have shown more than they did, but there were other ways to make it more clear, for example in the film Titanic, the car’s windows are all fogged up making it more implied.
The film seemed to come from the perspective that women, no matter who they are, where they are in life, and what body type they have will never be satisfied with themselves. Each of these women is beautiful in their own right and in their own unique ways, and all four of them have good lives. The film seems to say that all of that does not matter and that women will always be looking for something better to come along. This is clearly seen in how all of the women seek to alter themselves for others. The mother does so in getting plastic surgery; Michelle by getting a job and having an affair with her very young boss; Elizabeth by feeling bad for being called un-sexy by one person despite everyone else in her life telling her otherwise and making her lover in the middle of the film evaluate her naked body; and Annie trying to be more skinny and look like her Caucasian family (straight hair, pale skin, and all). The film also seems to say that there is no set definition of beauty, especially seen in the way Elizabeth is insecure with her body from one comment and Michelle by the way her young boss is infatuated with her.
Overall, I would rate this movie a B. If you are looking for a film that takes all of what the media tells women and depicts how different women will react differently from it, this would be the movie for you. Otherwise, you may think that the four women are just bored middle-class women and toss the film away. Your choice, but I would hope that you would choose the first option.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Blog #8
The end of The Beauty Myth puts the pressure on the reader to change society. To make it better. To make the world a truly equal place no matter the gender. It was a nice transition from the rest of the book, as much of it to me felt like Wolf, ranting endlessly and divulging onto tangents. Much of her ranting comes together with the point that women are wrongfully stereotyped and held back. She pushes her rant-like text into a relentless call to all genders, in all locations, and in all times to pursue their dreams and strive for equality despite the circumstances. In this regard, the end of the book is very compelling and presents a worthwhile push to action. Much of the rest of the book was hard to get through, because it does at times seem like Wolf is droning on about the same “oppression” and there were a few times that it felt like Wolf was herself stereotyping women to be all the type that desire to hold powerful positions and have equality in everything. There are women, though, that hold their roles in the home as more valuable and desirable than at work or who desire to do nothing that stay home and be a housewife, and at times it seemed like Wolf forgot about this group of women. But the end of the book seemed to try to steer away from that. The reading by Valenti makes a lot of the same points of not conforming to society and being who you are, but Valenti makes these points in a very different way. For one thing, Valenti uses a lot of shock techniques with her use of generally considered curse words. She does seem like she is ranting a lot more than Wolf. But while Valenti is ranting about the state of what should be beautiful for women based on her experiences, Wolf gives a much more broad picture of the world that women must live in. Wolf also argues in a more objective rant style, portraying many different sides of the issue and many different people’s experiences. Also, the biggest difference between the two is that while Wolf calls upon all genders to change society and make it equal (and blames men mostly for the state of the poor beauty image state), Valenti calls upon women specifically to change society and to begin by loving themselves and other women (as she had blamed women for the poor image of beauty). The women do agree, though, that the current state of the beauty myth is horrible and needs to be fixed as soon as possible. Both direct women to pursue whatever is important to them and that no matter what it was (be it work, school, home, whatever) they should pursue it with the greatest intent and break through all the stereotypes associated with them. There is a song by the band Superchick called Anthem and it’s lyrics read like this:
We are fire inside, we are lipstick and cleats
We are not going home, we are playing for keeps
We are girls with skinned knees, we are concrete and grace
We are not what you think, you can't keep us in our place
Here's to the girls on their boards with bruises and scars
Here's to the girls whose fingers bleed from playin guitar
Here's to anyone who never quit when things got hard
You'll never let them say you'll never get that far
We are fire inside, we are an army asleep
We are a people awaking to follow their dreams
We don't have time for your games
We have our own goals to score
There are trophies to win instead of being one of yours.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrDA5-uD01g
These lyrics ring true no matter what women are facing. They encourage them to push beyond and never give up reaching for what they want. And it also seems to fit well with the message of both authors about fighting for what you want. I also found a website dedicated to listing songs and lyrics about gender stereotypes and issues that would make both proud that someone is trying to make people aware of the gender problems in society.(http://www.edchange.org/multicultural/arts/gender_songs.html)
Music is one of the most ascribed to sources for entertainment. I think it carries the potential to become a prime source to reach the masses and affect change in society. Many of the songs listed dealt with the issues of different genders body image. There were some songs about the color of women’s faces and the shape of their bodies and growing past that simple image. These songs are very reflective of the three essays “Becoming La Mujer,” “My Brown Face,” and “The Butt: Its Politics, Its Profanity, Its Power.” All of these essays are true life experiences that women went through in their search for body image peace and gender equality. All three were great, enough that there is no way to pick a favorite out of the three. If only all women, and men, could read these essays, Naomi Wolf’s call to action, and the messages in music presented to them everyday, then there could in fact be a rapid change in different genders view of each other and view of themselves.
We are fire inside, we are lipstick and cleats
We are not going home, we are playing for keeps
We are girls with skinned knees, we are concrete and grace
We are not what you think, you can't keep us in our place
Here's to the girls on their boards with bruises and scars
Here's to the girls whose fingers bleed from playin guitar
Here's to anyone who never quit when things got hard
You'll never let them say you'll never get that far
We are fire inside, we are an army asleep
We are a people awaking to follow their dreams
We don't have time for your games
We have our own goals to score
There are trophies to win instead of being one of yours.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrDA5-uD01g
These lyrics ring true no matter what women are facing. They encourage them to push beyond and never give up reaching for what they want. And it also seems to fit well with the message of both authors about fighting for what you want. I also found a website dedicated to listing songs and lyrics about gender stereotypes and issues that would make both proud that someone is trying to make people aware of the gender problems in society.(http://www.edchange.org/multicultural/arts/gender_songs.html)
Music is one of the most ascribed to sources for entertainment. I think it carries the potential to become a prime source to reach the masses and affect change in society. Many of the songs listed dealt with the issues of different genders body image. There were some songs about the color of women’s faces and the shape of their bodies and growing past that simple image. These songs are very reflective of the three essays “Becoming La Mujer,” “My Brown Face,” and “The Butt: Its Politics, Its Profanity, Its Power.” All of these essays are true life experiences that women went through in their search for body image peace and gender equality. All three were great, enough that there is no way to pick a favorite out of the three. If only all women, and men, could read these essays, Naomi Wolf’s call to action, and the messages in music presented to them everyday, then there could in fact be a rapid change in different genders view of each other and view of themselves.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Blog # 7
Eating disorders affect and drastically change more women in the world than most can even imagine. They have the potential to influence all races, genders, and ages. Some reports even say that one or two out of every one hundred kids will suffer from an eating disorder in their lifetime. To be precise, an eating disorder is any view of one’s body that makes them eat in a way contrary to how they should. There are several types of eating disorders from the well know anorexia and bulimia, to purging and binge eating. Experiencing any symptom of any eating disorder for longer than I would say a few weeks would constitute someone having the beginnings of an eating disorder. From the psychological point of view (as I am a graduating psychology major this year), an eating disorder is a misconception about the body that causes one to think and behave in an unhealthy manner. Also, commonly associated with eating disorders is the psychological disorder body dysmorphic disorder, which is where a person becomes over obsessed with a certain part of their body and focuses on changing it to fit whatever model they have for the ideal. What, then, causes women to feel poorly about their bodies and can lead them to suffer from these disorders?
Sadly, the root causes of eating disorders can come from everywhere; from home, peers, media, anywhere. One of the biggest causes though behind them is from the fashion/film/media industries. With more and more models and actresses getting thinner and thinner, girls see the romantic and idolized responses from their peers and begin to think that they have to fit that model in order to be considered beautiful.
Models are pressured from their agents and from fashion designers to be the size of store mannequins and that pressure on the models bleeds over into mainstream society. People then view the models (wearing the size zero clothes forced upon them) and either try to look like them or think that everyone around them should look like those models. This can result in a poor self-body image or a ridiculing of people around them, pressure those people to have poor self-body image. What none of them realize is that models demonstrate only about ten percent of the world’s population in body size. What about the other ninety percent? I will tell you plainly, they are not size zero, or even size two or four. Most are ranging size from 8-10 to 16-18, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Even in the past, one of the world’s most idolized actresses, Marilyn Monroe was a size 12. But as models became smaller and the ideal weight became smaller, eating disorder rates became larger.
If only more people were made aware of the true ratio of body sizes in the world. Why is it that what is considered ideal in wealthy countries considered starvation in poor countries? If only more people were educated on how to eat healthy and to properly view their bodies. If only people were educated on what eating disorders do to a body and how more often than not they are incurable and can lead to a slow death. If only people better understood the risks and who was susceptible to these disorders (based on family history or genetics). If only people were told that there are successful treatments to these disorders, they just need to seek them out. If only pop culture was not filled with a diet obsession. If only our own wealth and capitalist ideals did not keep us unsatisfied with whom we are and what we already possess (within and outside of ourselves). You could fill up a world with “if only” statements but none of them matter if the world sits idly by and says or does nothing about them.
It begins with each and every one of us. We can be the change that we desire to see in society today. We can throw away the obsession with food and dieting. We can throw away the pressure to conform to ten percent of the real world. We can throw away the idea that beauty only comes in one form. We can decide to educate ourselves about eating disorders and treatments for them. We can embrace each other and our body types and become one unified and broad definition of beauty. And who’s to think any less of us? No one thinks less of Queen Latifah, Kelly Clarkson, Kate Dillon, Nikki Blonsky, Jennifer Hudson, or Aretha Franklin for being who they are, so why should we think less of ourselves?
Sadly, the root causes of eating disorders can come from everywhere; from home, peers, media, anywhere. One of the biggest causes though behind them is from the fashion/film/media industries. With more and more models and actresses getting thinner and thinner, girls see the romantic and idolized responses from their peers and begin to think that they have to fit that model in order to be considered beautiful.
Models are pressured from their agents and from fashion designers to be the size of store mannequins and that pressure on the models bleeds over into mainstream society. People then view the models (wearing the size zero clothes forced upon them) and either try to look like them or think that everyone around them should look like those models. This can result in a poor self-body image or a ridiculing of people around them, pressure those people to have poor self-body image. What none of them realize is that models demonstrate only about ten percent of the world’s population in body size. What about the other ninety percent? I will tell you plainly, they are not size zero, or even size two or four. Most are ranging size from 8-10 to 16-18, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Even in the past, one of the world’s most idolized actresses, Marilyn Monroe was a size 12. But as models became smaller and the ideal weight became smaller, eating disorder rates became larger.
If only more people were made aware of the true ratio of body sizes in the world. Why is it that what is considered ideal in wealthy countries considered starvation in poor countries? If only more people were educated on how to eat healthy and to properly view their bodies. If only people were educated on what eating disorders do to a body and how more often than not they are incurable and can lead to a slow death. If only people better understood the risks and who was susceptible to these disorders (based on family history or genetics). If only people were told that there are successful treatments to these disorders, they just need to seek them out. If only pop culture was not filled with a diet obsession. If only our own wealth and capitalist ideals did not keep us unsatisfied with whom we are and what we already possess (within and outside of ourselves). You could fill up a world with “if only” statements but none of them matter if the world sits idly by and says or does nothing about them.
It begins with each and every one of us. We can be the change that we desire to see in society today. We can throw away the obsession with food and dieting. We can throw away the pressure to conform to ten percent of the real world. We can throw away the idea that beauty only comes in one form. We can decide to educate ourselves about eating disorders and treatments for them. We can embrace each other and our body types and become one unified and broad definition of beauty. And who’s to think any less of us? No one thinks less of Queen Latifah, Kelly Clarkson, Kate Dillon, Nikki Blonsky, Jennifer Hudson, or Aretha Franklin for being who they are, so why should we think less of ourselves?
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Blog #6
According to the essay “Cosmetic Surgery: Paying for You Beauty” by Debra Gimlin, the original purpose of cosmetic surgery was to repair injuries. Gimlin says in her essay that most patients were male war victims who had returned injured or disfigured and in need of repair so as not to look repulsive in regular society or injuries from industrial accidents. But gradually through time, since the major wars, cosmetic surgery has spread to be a predominately female phenomenon. Gimlin attributed it simply to “women who are dissatisfied with their looks.” She goes on to elaborate that many women undergo the plastic surgeries because of four reasons. One, they desire to make their outer appearance match how they truly feel (like an 60 year old woman who feels like she's only 40 on in the inside). Two, they seek out surgery to please someone else (for example a woman who desires larger breasts to make her boyfriend happier). Three, children brought in by their parents who think their child has something wrong with them (usually the child thinks they look fine). And four, they want to look different for crazy reasons (for example they want to look like a famous actress). How did this transition from necessity to desire-to-look-different happen? Why are there more plastic surgeries now than ever before? To answer these simply, there are more plastic surgeries now because there are more plastic surgeons than before and woman have more rights and liberties than they did before, therefore they feel free to act on their own reasons and whims. There is also a growing problem with discrimination with women in the workforce, based entirely on how they look. This also contributes to the higher numbers of plastic surgeries as women try to conform to the world’s standards of beauty and normalcy.
Personally, I am strongly against cosmetic surgery. No matter how hard you try and how many different methods you use, eventually you will age. Why not try to age well instead of not age at all? You can age well simply by taking care of yourself all through your life, by not tanning, wearing sunblock, exercising, and eating balanced. Why not be a body outlaw and take whatever you have and flaunt it? I think many people today take plastic surgery too lightly. They have become even further victims to the consumerism society than ever before when they undergo plastic surgery, almost as if to say that if they don’t like something they can just change it. What’s to stop them from using that same principle in other areas of their lives? Obviously, though, there are some kinds of cosmetic surgery that are more acceptable than others. For example, if a person has a bad scar from something or has a strange growth somewhere on their body, then it is perfectly acceptable to have minor surgery to repair it. But I think people take it too far when they want to change the shape of their noses or cheeks or breasts or anything. In doing this they not only put themselves in great and unnecessary physical danger just to satisfy their own vanity (or the vanity of someone close to them), but they loose a great part of what makes them unique. According to one of our guest speakers this week, Iran is the nose job capital of the world. In one of the clips she showed us of some girls in Iran that were going to have nose reshaping surgeries, all stated famous Western (American) actresses that they wanted to have the noses of. But looking at all the girls, their noses looked perfectly normal and even beautiful. Beautiful because it make them look real. Beautiful because it made them look unique. Why change what makes you you?
How then can we change the trend? First, change the media representation of women, putting more variety and reality in the women that are portrayed. Change the work pressures to look certain ways and eliminate the discrimination toward women. And ultimately change the way women think of themselves into a view that they are aesthetically pleasing no matter what anyone tells them.
Personally, I am strongly against cosmetic surgery. No matter how hard you try and how many different methods you use, eventually you will age. Why not try to age well instead of not age at all? You can age well simply by taking care of yourself all through your life, by not tanning, wearing sunblock, exercising, and eating balanced. Why not be a body outlaw and take whatever you have and flaunt it? I think many people today take plastic surgery too lightly. They have become even further victims to the consumerism society than ever before when they undergo plastic surgery, almost as if to say that if they don’t like something they can just change it. What’s to stop them from using that same principle in other areas of their lives? Obviously, though, there are some kinds of cosmetic surgery that are more acceptable than others. For example, if a person has a bad scar from something or has a strange growth somewhere on their body, then it is perfectly acceptable to have minor surgery to repair it. But I think people take it too far when they want to change the shape of their noses or cheeks or breasts or anything. In doing this they not only put themselves in great and unnecessary physical danger just to satisfy their own vanity (or the vanity of someone close to them), but they loose a great part of what makes them unique. According to one of our guest speakers this week, Iran is the nose job capital of the world. In one of the clips she showed us of some girls in Iran that were going to have nose reshaping surgeries, all stated famous Western (American) actresses that they wanted to have the noses of. But looking at all the girls, their noses looked perfectly normal and even beautiful. Beautiful because it make them look real. Beautiful because it made them look unique. Why change what makes you you?
How then can we change the trend? First, change the media representation of women, putting more variety and reality in the women that are portrayed. Change the work pressures to look certain ways and eliminate the discrimination toward women. And ultimately change the way women think of themselves into a view that they are aesthetically pleasing no matter what anyone tells them.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Works Cited for Paper #1
Conflict Research Consortium. “Inaccurate and Overly Hostile Stereotypes.” University of Colorado, 1998. Web. 1 October 2009. .
Godsey, Chris. “Cro-Magnon Karma: One Dude and His Body Image Issues.” Body Outlaws. Ed. Ophira Edut. California: Seal Press, 2003. (287-298). Print
Jervis, Lisa. “My Jewish Nose.” Body Outlaws. Ed. Ophira Edut. California: Seal Press, 2003. (62-67). Print
Wolf, Naomi. The Beauty Myth. New York: Harper Perennial, 2002. (37-41).
Godsey, Chris. “Cro-Magnon Karma: One Dude and His Body Image Issues.” Body Outlaws. Ed. Ophira Edut. California: Seal Press, 2003. (287-298). Print
Jervis, Lisa. “My Jewish Nose.” Body Outlaws. Ed. Ophira Edut. California: Seal Press, 2003. (62-67). Print
Wolf, Naomi. The Beauty Myth. New York: Harper Perennial, 2002. (37-41).
Paper #1 (part 2)
Stereotypes and How to Deal With Them
Looking at the basics of stereotypes reveals an ugly but sad truth that people are unjustly categorized and conformed. Even sadder is when they fail to realize how they fall prey to the stereotypes. These stereotypes change by what seems like the second, it is amazing how people keep up with them. Without even knowing it, they help define, categorize, promote, and become victims of stereotypes, all at the same time.
First, to specifically define stereotype, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary a stereotype is “a standardized mental picture that is held in common by members of a group and that represents an oversimplified opinion, prejudiced attitude, or uncritical judgment.” To simplify that definition into my own definition, a stereotype is any opinion you have about a person or people group based entirely on a biased perception of them. Often times these stereotypes turn into hostile and prejudiced opinion of who people are and how they should act, and many times those that are stereotyped do not actually fit in the stereotype. This can lead people to automatically assume things about people and “if you assume you know what a person is like, and don't look at each person as an individual, you are likely to make errors in your estimates of a person's character” (Conflict Research Consortium). When one stereotypes, one judges. When one judges, one more often than not proves themselves to be wrong and prejudice.
Some of the more common stereotypes in the world today include stereotypes of ethnicity, gender, and class. For many races, there are numerous negative prejudiced stereotypes. For example, in the essay My Jewish Nose, the author explains that Jewish women are stereotypically “loud, pushy- qualities that girls really aren’t supposed to have” (Edut, 64). This contributes to two stereotypes, one about ethnic characteristics and about gender. There are stereotypes for every ethnicity. For Caucasians, they are yuppie. For African Americans, they are criminals or dishonest. For Latino or Hispanic Americans, they are like “cockroaches.” None of these are true. For men, they are supposed to be career driven, independent, strong, tough, and providing, very much like the conclusion that Chris Godsey came to in his essay Cro-Magnon Karma. In this essay, Godsey came to the conclusion that “without believing that unless I have 3 percent body fat, a hairless torso and washboard abs, I’m an inferior man.” (Edut 287). So, that is exactly what men strive for. Women are to be submissive, gentle, sweet, nurturing, and beautiful all the time, very much like the Barbies and Dawns mentioned in Klaus Barbie and other Dolls I’d Like to See by Susan Gilman. In regards to class, there are the stereotypes of over motivated wealthy snob, trailer trash, dirty poor, and so many others. Just because someone is wealthy that does not mean they are snob. Just because one lives in a trailer park that does not make them trashy or un-ambitious (which is commonly associated with this stereotype). And most poor people do not choose to be poor. Anyone would know the truth about these people in each of these categories if they took the time to get to know the person for who they really are. That is how people promote these stereotypes: by not taking the time to form one’s own opinion about a person or people group. They also promote the stereotype by not correcting others when they talk about the stereotype and when they conform to it themselves.
Looking back in to my own life, I myself have become victim to almost every one of these categories of stereotypes. For example, as a young, blonde, petite girl I often feel the pressure to conform to the stereotypes associated with all of those. I’m supposed to be spirited and energetic, stupid (because of my lack of experience and blonde hair), sweet, and submissive- never offending anyone. Thankfully I have overcome those stereotypes the best that I can. To be more specific, I remember two times when I was working for a grocery store in high school. The first time was actually on my first day of work. As I was trying to leave I had another high school male coworker corner me into a wall and try to get me to admit things about who I was attracted to and other embarrassing information I knew at the time that the expected reaction was to giggle and laugh and submissively reveal my secrets. Much to the boy’s surprise I darted under his arm when he was not looking and ran to one of my supervisors who defended me. This showed him that not only was I not going to be pressured into something, but I knew how to handle myself and use my head to get out of and avoid situations. The second example came when another coworker, a middle-aged male, tried to convince me that my Christian faith was wrong. He got aggressive and hostile with his words quickly. Again, to his (and my own surprise) I found that I was able to stand my ground and defend my faith better than he could fight his own argument. These both contradicted the stereotypes that I was young and stupid and would avoid conflict like a “normal” girl. But just because I contradicted stereotypes these two times, does not even begin to add up to the times that I have fallen victim to them and kept quiet, agreed to something I did not really want to do because as I girl I felt like it was something I was supposed to do, or to even dress in more feminine clothes just because “I’m a girl. I should look like one,” (now realistically speaking, I always look like and behave pretty girly, but I am referring to wearing dresses and skirts just to show how girly I can be).
Every time I feel pressure to conform is hard. It is hard because I know that I am an opinionated person with a dominant personality. And I know that I do not want to be seen as the typical girl who just goes along with others. Looking back on those two specific examples, I do feel proud of myself that I stood my ground, used my head, and also did not let my emotions dictate my actions (another stereotype associated with girls). It was good to learn that if I had to, I could defend myself. But the other times I did conform were not necessarily all bad either. As time goes on and I learn to keep quiet about some things, I see that I am learning so much more about the people in my life. I learn more about what they believe in and value. I learn how to communicate better with them. I learn how to respect them more. I have also found that when I am with others I have discovered my own personal limits in regards to choices I want to make in my life and I still stand up for what I believe is right.
I feel a very mixed reaction to my own conformity. One the one side, when I choose to be quiet and submissive, while I may further the potentially negative stereotype, I learn so much about my surroundings. On the other side, I never conform to things I find morally or ethically wrong and I find that it is then that I stand against the grain and resist the stereotypes associated with my gender. Both are important tasks to undertake in life. It all comes back to choosing what battles I want to fight in my life.
Looking at the basics of stereotypes reveals an ugly but sad truth that people are unjustly categorized and conformed. Even sadder is when they fail to realize how they fall prey to the stereotypes. These stereotypes change by what seems like the second, it is amazing how people keep up with them. Without even knowing it, they help define, categorize, promote, and become victims of stereotypes, all at the same time.
First, to specifically define stereotype, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary a stereotype is “a standardized mental picture that is held in common by members of a group and that represents an oversimplified opinion, prejudiced attitude, or uncritical judgment.” To simplify that definition into my own definition, a stereotype is any opinion you have about a person or people group based entirely on a biased perception of them. Often times these stereotypes turn into hostile and prejudiced opinion of who people are and how they should act, and many times those that are stereotyped do not actually fit in the stereotype. This can lead people to automatically assume things about people and “if you assume you know what a person is like, and don't look at each person as an individual, you are likely to make errors in your estimates of a person's character” (Conflict Research Consortium). When one stereotypes, one judges. When one judges, one more often than not proves themselves to be wrong and prejudice.
Some of the more common stereotypes in the world today include stereotypes of ethnicity, gender, and class. For many races, there are numerous negative prejudiced stereotypes. For example, in the essay My Jewish Nose, the author explains that Jewish women are stereotypically “loud, pushy- qualities that girls really aren’t supposed to have” (Edut, 64). This contributes to two stereotypes, one about ethnic characteristics and about gender. There are stereotypes for every ethnicity. For Caucasians, they are yuppie. For African Americans, they are criminals or dishonest. For Latino or Hispanic Americans, they are like “cockroaches.” None of these are true. For men, they are supposed to be career driven, independent, strong, tough, and providing, very much like the conclusion that Chris Godsey came to in his essay Cro-Magnon Karma. In this essay, Godsey came to the conclusion that “without believing that unless I have 3 percent body fat, a hairless torso and washboard abs, I’m an inferior man.” (Edut 287). So, that is exactly what men strive for. Women are to be submissive, gentle, sweet, nurturing, and beautiful all the time, very much like the Barbies and Dawns mentioned in Klaus Barbie and other Dolls I’d Like to See by Susan Gilman. In regards to class, there are the stereotypes of over motivated wealthy snob, trailer trash, dirty poor, and so many others. Just because someone is wealthy that does not mean they are snob. Just because one lives in a trailer park that does not make them trashy or un-ambitious (which is commonly associated with this stereotype). And most poor people do not choose to be poor. Anyone would know the truth about these people in each of these categories if they took the time to get to know the person for who they really are. That is how people promote these stereotypes: by not taking the time to form one’s own opinion about a person or people group. They also promote the stereotype by not correcting others when they talk about the stereotype and when they conform to it themselves.
Looking back in to my own life, I myself have become victim to almost every one of these categories of stereotypes. For example, as a young, blonde, petite girl I often feel the pressure to conform to the stereotypes associated with all of those. I’m supposed to be spirited and energetic, stupid (because of my lack of experience and blonde hair), sweet, and submissive- never offending anyone. Thankfully I have overcome those stereotypes the best that I can. To be more specific, I remember two times when I was working for a grocery store in high school. The first time was actually on my first day of work. As I was trying to leave I had another high school male coworker corner me into a wall and try to get me to admit things about who I was attracted to and other embarrassing information I knew at the time that the expected reaction was to giggle and laugh and submissively reveal my secrets. Much to the boy’s surprise I darted under his arm when he was not looking and ran to one of my supervisors who defended me. This showed him that not only was I not going to be pressured into something, but I knew how to handle myself and use my head to get out of and avoid situations. The second example came when another coworker, a middle-aged male, tried to convince me that my Christian faith was wrong. He got aggressive and hostile with his words quickly. Again, to his (and my own surprise) I found that I was able to stand my ground and defend my faith better than he could fight his own argument. These both contradicted the stereotypes that I was young and stupid and would avoid conflict like a “normal” girl. But just because I contradicted stereotypes these two times, does not even begin to add up to the times that I have fallen victim to them and kept quiet, agreed to something I did not really want to do because as I girl I felt like it was something I was supposed to do, or to even dress in more feminine clothes just because “I’m a girl. I should look like one,” (now realistically speaking, I always look like and behave pretty girly, but I am referring to wearing dresses and skirts just to show how girly I can be).
Every time I feel pressure to conform is hard. It is hard because I know that I am an opinionated person with a dominant personality. And I know that I do not want to be seen as the typical girl who just goes along with others. Looking back on those two specific examples, I do feel proud of myself that I stood my ground, used my head, and also did not let my emotions dictate my actions (another stereotype associated with girls). It was good to learn that if I had to, I could defend myself. But the other times I did conform were not necessarily all bad either. As time goes on and I learn to keep quiet about some things, I see that I am learning so much more about the people in my life. I learn more about what they believe in and value. I learn how to communicate better with them. I learn how to respect them more. I have also found that when I am with others I have discovered my own personal limits in regards to choices I want to make in my life and I still stand up for what I believe is right.
I feel a very mixed reaction to my own conformity. One the one side, when I choose to be quiet and submissive, while I may further the potentially negative stereotype, I learn so much about my surroundings. On the other side, I never conform to things I find morally or ethically wrong and I find that it is then that I stand against the grain and resist the stereotypes associated with my gender. Both are important tasks to undertake in life. It all comes back to choosing what battles I want to fight in my life.
Paper #1 (part1)
Gender in the Workplace
In the last twenty years, women have seen and undergone some substantial changes. What was commonplace and popular jobs for women began to change directions. Women began to learn how best to use their voices to affect change. The old standard path of graduate high school, get married, have kids, be a housewife gradually changed to graduate college, start career, get married, have kids, maintain career through all of this and continue career until retirement. With this change in a women’s life-path, the view of women in the workplace changed. The roles they undertook, the perception and treatment of women in the workplace, the manner of dress, the reception of claims of harassment, and the perception of what to do when kids are grown have all changed. In an interview with Catherine Sabin, a woman of 49 who has never held a career but has had several jobs, she elaborated one each of these areas to help explain how women in the workforce have seen change around them in the last twenty years.
First, Mrs. Sabin made the sharp point that women now are no longer held back in their career path. The roles a woman chooses to take are strictly based her own mindset. If she desires to work for a large company, a department store, or be a stay at home mom, it is a woman’s right and choice to choose. Women can hold any position from the highest to the lowest. With that, however, in the last twenty years there has been an influx of women holding high positions in companies. This could be due to many reasons, one being that with the freedom to pursue a career, women have stuck around long enough to move up the career ladder. Also, with the sudden widespread use of daycare and the rising cost of income, it is almost impossible for a family to survive on one income. Mrs. Sabin felt many women are feeling the pressure to help support the family from within herself and from her husband. She also mentioned a vicious cycle that almost makes some women want to stay home because it’s cheaper than paying for the daycare and other expenses regard working. But due to the rising cost of living, society makes it impossible for her not to work. Also, she commented that society looks down on women that do want to stay home almost as if they do not have enough confidence, skills, or ambition to have a career; that society disregards a woman’s values and reasons for choosing to stay home.
Mrs. Sabin then went on to talk about the views of women in the workplace from every perspective of the workforce. First, women tend to view other women in a very critical light. Some more than others, but overall very negatively across the board. This comes into great power in the workforce as women also tend to gossip about each other, thus making women’s opinions of each other very poor. Mrs. Sabin then when on to comment about women working under other women. She explained that it seems to her that now having a female boss means two things for the males and females under her: one- that she will treat her female employees more gently because they think more similarly, and two- that she will be more harsh on the males because she has to prove herself worthy to be their boss and because she might view them as competition for her position. In regards to how males view their female coworkers or subordinates, Mrs. Sabin felt that men could be more resentful of the woman thinking they may have only gotten the job due to their gender or that the men would be so distracted by a pretty face they would not be able to look past that. This “pretty face” problem led to the problem of how a woman should dress in the workforce.
Honestly speaking, Mrs. Sabin felt that, in general, women’s work dress had not changed much in the past twenty years other than the fact that most places of business have adopted a more business casual attire. She felt that women have always been more fashion conscious and this is reflected in their work clothes. Also, she pointed out that to succeed in business it is not in anyway necessary to de-feminize oneself. This, then leads to the problems brought up by Naomi Wolf in her book The Beauty Myth. Within this text Wolf, goes through many cases involving how women dress to show that women have always gotten in trouble for what they wear, whether it be feminine or masculine in nature (37-41). Specifically, Wolf states that “law developed to protect the interests of power by setting up a legal maze in which . . . no woman can ‘look right’ and win” (38). In this statement, the through her subsequent court cases examples, she proves that women really can not win in regards to what they should wear to work. Thus, this makes Mrs. Sabin’s opinion right on, that women typically like to look prettier and that they do this regardless of any other’s opinion and should dress according to what they want.
With this then comes the problem of sexual harassment. If a male cannot get past the “pretty face” of a woman, he definitely would not be able to get past her clothes. Often this inability to see past that can lead males to harass the women they work with. But with today’s definition of harassment being “anything that makes you uncomfortable,” the question become who should be believed? Mrs. Sabin definitively stated that twenty years ago and continuing on today that woman are and should be believed. She did, however, say that this harassment policy has become very sensitive and that it almost takes too little for someone to file a complaint. She also asked with more women in the workforce, could not the rise in sexual harassment numbers be simply because of the increased number of women?
Mrs. Sabin ended with what she believes to be the ultimate and most important problem affecting women in the workforce now. That problem is simply the glass ceiling. Women doing the same amount of work for the same amount to time and in the same position as men should be being paid the same as men. There is no reason for them not to. Everything else has been gradually changing and getting better for women. As mentioned above, women are sticking with careers long enough to move up the ladder, they are choosing for themselves what to wear and how to respond to harassment, and choosing what to do with their careers, but this one aspect needs to change and change as soon as possible.
In the last twenty years, women have seen and undergone some substantial changes. What was commonplace and popular jobs for women began to change directions. Women began to learn how best to use their voices to affect change. The old standard path of graduate high school, get married, have kids, be a housewife gradually changed to graduate college, start career, get married, have kids, maintain career through all of this and continue career until retirement. With this change in a women’s life-path, the view of women in the workplace changed. The roles they undertook, the perception and treatment of women in the workplace, the manner of dress, the reception of claims of harassment, and the perception of what to do when kids are grown have all changed. In an interview with Catherine Sabin, a woman of 49 who has never held a career but has had several jobs, she elaborated one each of these areas to help explain how women in the workforce have seen change around them in the last twenty years.
First, Mrs. Sabin made the sharp point that women now are no longer held back in their career path. The roles a woman chooses to take are strictly based her own mindset. If she desires to work for a large company, a department store, or be a stay at home mom, it is a woman’s right and choice to choose. Women can hold any position from the highest to the lowest. With that, however, in the last twenty years there has been an influx of women holding high positions in companies. This could be due to many reasons, one being that with the freedom to pursue a career, women have stuck around long enough to move up the career ladder. Also, with the sudden widespread use of daycare and the rising cost of income, it is almost impossible for a family to survive on one income. Mrs. Sabin felt many women are feeling the pressure to help support the family from within herself and from her husband. She also mentioned a vicious cycle that almost makes some women want to stay home because it’s cheaper than paying for the daycare and other expenses regard working. But due to the rising cost of living, society makes it impossible for her not to work. Also, she commented that society looks down on women that do want to stay home almost as if they do not have enough confidence, skills, or ambition to have a career; that society disregards a woman’s values and reasons for choosing to stay home.
Mrs. Sabin then went on to talk about the views of women in the workplace from every perspective of the workforce. First, women tend to view other women in a very critical light. Some more than others, but overall very negatively across the board. This comes into great power in the workforce as women also tend to gossip about each other, thus making women’s opinions of each other very poor. Mrs. Sabin then when on to comment about women working under other women. She explained that it seems to her that now having a female boss means two things for the males and females under her: one- that she will treat her female employees more gently because they think more similarly, and two- that she will be more harsh on the males because she has to prove herself worthy to be their boss and because she might view them as competition for her position. In regards to how males view their female coworkers or subordinates, Mrs. Sabin felt that men could be more resentful of the woman thinking they may have only gotten the job due to their gender or that the men would be so distracted by a pretty face they would not be able to look past that. This “pretty face” problem led to the problem of how a woman should dress in the workforce.
Honestly speaking, Mrs. Sabin felt that, in general, women’s work dress had not changed much in the past twenty years other than the fact that most places of business have adopted a more business casual attire. She felt that women have always been more fashion conscious and this is reflected in their work clothes. Also, she pointed out that to succeed in business it is not in anyway necessary to de-feminize oneself. This, then leads to the problems brought up by Naomi Wolf in her book The Beauty Myth. Within this text Wolf, goes through many cases involving how women dress to show that women have always gotten in trouble for what they wear, whether it be feminine or masculine in nature (37-41). Specifically, Wolf states that “law developed to protect the interests of power by setting up a legal maze in which . . . no woman can ‘look right’ and win” (38). In this statement, the through her subsequent court cases examples, she proves that women really can not win in regards to what they should wear to work. Thus, this makes Mrs. Sabin’s opinion right on, that women typically like to look prettier and that they do this regardless of any other’s opinion and should dress according to what they want.
With this then comes the problem of sexual harassment. If a male cannot get past the “pretty face” of a woman, he definitely would not be able to get past her clothes. Often this inability to see past that can lead males to harass the women they work with. But with today’s definition of harassment being “anything that makes you uncomfortable,” the question become who should be believed? Mrs. Sabin definitively stated that twenty years ago and continuing on today that woman are and should be believed. She did, however, say that this harassment policy has become very sensitive and that it almost takes too little for someone to file a complaint. She also asked with more women in the workforce, could not the rise in sexual harassment numbers be simply because of the increased number of women?
Mrs. Sabin ended with what she believes to be the ultimate and most important problem affecting women in the workforce now. That problem is simply the glass ceiling. Women doing the same amount of work for the same amount to time and in the same position as men should be being paid the same as men. There is no reason for them not to. Everything else has been gradually changing and getting better for women. As mentioned above, women are sticking with careers long enough to move up the ladder, they are choosing for themselves what to wear and how to respond to harassment, and choosing what to do with their careers, but this one aspect needs to change and change as soon as possible.
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